As we are rolling out of yet another year, our hearts are set with good intentions and
our minds are at least ‘half full’ with some sort of new years resolutions,
even if the resolution is not to make any more resolutions.
It’s always exciting to be reminded of possibility, right?
Stepping into the new year can give one the same intoxicating ideas of re-invention,
as starting a new job or moving to a new town.
There is something exhilarating about the idea to be better.
I mean, whole industries sucked billions out of our pockets for years dangling
that very simple idea in front of us. Be better.
Of course we have every single day available to reinvent our lives and ourselves,
if we truly wanted that.
But as a wise person once said: Everybody wants change, but nobody wants to change!
2024 marks now my 25th year of being a (licensed) teacher.
You are surprised? My thank you.
25 years of teaching people dance, fitness, movement, stage presence, yoga and more. Some years I exclusively taught, some years I was just busy following my dream of becoming a dancer…
hence the leg-warmers…
but mostly it was teaching.
Over the years I noticed, that in both my professions, dance and teaching,
the work I put in with the students or the audience has an “ephemeral” quality…
it only lives in the moment.
Like a kiss… or a dream.
You might remember some of it, you might even remember it fondly.
But like life itself, it only happens to its fullest in the moment itself.
At least that’s how it feels to me.
In the classroom I feel I'm just channeling all the stories and the wisdom and the experiences of my teachers before me, that is my Flow (as a teacher) and its not always perfect
but sometimes it's just really good.
If you would ask me after what I said, I would have a hard time to remember it.
It stayed in the moment for those who needed to hear it, to pick it up and take it home.
Being on stage I have repeated shows and choreographies for years,
but not a single one is the same as any other one.
And that is also my approach to the yogic practice itself.
Every time we step on the mat, every time we show up for the work
it might feel familiar, but it is never exactly the same.
Simply because WE are not the same being anymore as last time.
Despite the fact that we see the same face every day in the mirror,
lulling us in to the comforting illusion of continuation,
we, our whole being, are merely an abstract construct.
A little miracle made simply out of stardust, experiences and beliefs.
So why is that not enough, to be that little miracle? Why do we want to improve a miracle?
We are all looking for passion and purpose, we try to make a mark in this world.
And many want to be remembered of some sort.
I think that is for many the catalyst to be in relationships or to have families.
We want to share our lives with somebody, we want to somebody to be a witness.
I see my friends with kids having this shift in their lives, where their sense of self seems to have expanded to include their offspring.
I see my friends that made amazing leaps in their careers; achieving fame & accolades and leaving their footprints.
So sometimes I get to wonder: what will I leave behind? What is my legacy? Will anyone remember me stumbling over this planet, making an effort?
I do hope that in the cosmic number game, the amount of people I made laugh and smile outweigh the people that I have hurt or offended… but hey, who’s to know.
I say often that I feel most myself in the classroom with people:
a little loud, a little obnoxious, a little too much? Maybe.
But every second of every moment in class I know my intentions are pure
and love for all the people there is pouring out of me, in my own sparkly way.
Channeling love, channeling joy.
Maybe this is the year where I can translate that into my private life too.
To surrender to the moment, to keep my heart open and
just to be a little miracle that loves all the other miracles coming into my way.
Thats my practice.